There’s something in the water around here. That’s got to be the answer. I’ve been trying to drink a lot more of it lately. Maybe that’s not a good thing. Ever heard about “getting bent outta shape?” I’ve got a finger that’s getting bent. I’ve got one bony old finger that has developed a definite “crook” in it. I can’t straighten it out unless I hold it with the other hand. It sure puts a crimp in my former 90 wpm typing skills.

My son pats me on the head and says, “Mom, you’re not 30 anymore. I’m not even 30 anymore. Deal with it.”

As you get older you’ll find that you can deal with the things in life that you can’t do anymore — if — big if — you weren’t wild about doing them in the first place. It’s the things that I want to do and can’t anymore that stick in my craw.

I don’t even know me anymore. Who is that stranger in the mirror? Looks just like my father when he was my age. Now, that is scary. 

Ever get to the point when you start to comb your hair and one look in the mirror and you say, “Oh, heck with it. Ain’t gonna help anyway.”

Aunt Ruby, God rest her soul, used to tell me, “Getting old ain’t for sissies.” Oh, Ruby Red, you were right as rain.

Does anybody out there suffer from restless leg syndrome? Another thing that is as aggravating as a boil on the butt. It doesn’t happen until you get ready to go to sleep. Then the gremlins send electrical impulses down your leg and targets some spot between calf and foot. 

What it is: Restless legs syndrome (RLS) is a neurological disorder characterized by unpleasant sensations in the legs and an uncontrollable urge to move when at rest in an effort to relieve these feelings. RLS sensations are often described by people as burning, creeping, tugging, or like insects crawling inside the legs. Often called paresthesias (abnormal sensations) or dysesthesias (unpleasant abnormal sensations), the sensations range in severity from uncomfortable to irritating to painful. If you don’t have it, you don’t want it, trust me.

Is this not the strangest ailment in the world? I guess I’m just not wired right.

This could be embarrassing if you have a bed partner. Could disturb some quality time.

“Whoops, sorry I kicked you, go back to sleep, it just my nervy foot.”

Fortunately my bed partner, Mr. Melvin the 30-pound pug canine, has issues of his own involving twitching, grunting and have mercy … snoring.  He chases the big game in his sleep — rabbit, being the big game since most rabbits would be ‘bout his size.

A friend of mine told me a couple of years ago to “eat at least two ‘nanners’ a day,” thus forcing some potassium into the mix. You know what? It works. Bananas are high in potassium and are a pill-free way to get your potassium up. Potassium seems to be the ticket to treating my RLS.  Thing is, you get tired of  “nanners” every day. I like ‘em but anything gets old. So, I just take an OTC potassium pill before bed. Hey, now, I’m not telling you to do what I do. After all, I’m weird, you know that. I just do what works for me. Many individuals take supplements to correct deficiencies in iron, folate, and magnesium.

But even with my miraculous cure I sometimes still see my leg shoot up in the air. Go figure. Nothing works all the time.

DALE LILLY aka The Gilded Lilly, may be reached at 662-429-6397 ext 240.

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